What to do next?

First of all, I would like to address the small number of people who stumble across this blog. You are probably all wondering "does she realize that no one really reads this because she only updates it every few months?" yes. I realize that. I don't really make time for it, and I am okay with that. But when I do have time, or there is a lot on my mind, or I took some interesting pictures, I like posting them. Even if no one reads my thoughts, it helps me think about it more thoroughly. Just wanted to clarify.

So. The majority of my thoughts have been geared toward one thing lately. Life after High School. Sounds dramatic. But honestly, quite stressful. I have been trying to be worry free about the whole subject, but that has not been an easy task to acomplish. School and classmates and the rest of the world puts so much pressure on teens (me) to go out and do crazy things, and you have to go to big colleges and live 5 hours away from home and join crazy party groups. I wonder if that is really all there is out there. People look down on students who decided to go to a commuinity college for a year or two. I can't seem to get out of these pressures and thoughts of everyone around me. I just want to know what is best for me. Personally. What is going to benefit me? Where am I going to benefit others? I want to be challenged, I want to grow, I want to learn and I want to impact the community where ever I go and whatever I decided to do it. But thats the other part of the equation. I really don't want to have to make this decision. I cannot see into my future. I don't know what is best for me. I only know what I want to do, which gets tricky when you want to do more than one thing. I really just want God to pick what I do. I want Him to tell me where to go. I don't want to make the mistake of going somewhere He doesn't have planned for me to go. I am thinking (and maybe I am wrong...) if God already knows what He is going to do with me.....why can't He just tell me? I just feel like I am not really getting a clear answer. Or maybe I have and I am doubting it? There is so much question about it. How do I know? Who do I listen to? I'll just bring the two options to the table. GCSU or Gainsville State for a year? I have so many pros and cons about each one and my heart is in both of these places, and I get excited for each one for different reasons. It kinda hurts when I think about it. It's painful, it's stressful and it just makes me want to burst into 500 pieces.

When I am stressing about all this, I try to focus on these:
John 16 (NIV)
23 In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 24 Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
and this is The Message version:
23-24 This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I've revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he'll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!

This is what I want to accomplish. But this is also alot easier than it seems to be. I want His plans to revealed to me, and I want to be overjoyed in the decision I make based on these plans. But it is a long, hard road until then. But I just pray I make it, and the stress isn't weighed down on my shoulders. I know He will gladly take it off.


On the lighter and brighter side,
-Guatemala is coming up! In like, 59 days or something. This will be a happier time in my life. I am excited!
-I have some realllllly good music on my iPod, thanks to me sister and all of her friends who "share" music.
-I bought two bags of Dove chocolate last week...
-I have started running again, which is hard, but good! It's just so fun...

Well, thats all I got for now. Maybe i'll try to update more often, we'll see ;)

=) Erin