What to do next?

First of all, I would like to address the small number of people who stumble across this blog. You are probably all wondering "does she realize that no one really reads this because she only updates it every few months?" yes. I realize that. I don't really make time for it, and I am okay with that. But when I do have time, or there is a lot on my mind, or I took some interesting pictures, I like posting them. Even if no one reads my thoughts, it helps me think about it more thoroughly. Just wanted to clarify.

So. The majority of my thoughts have been geared toward one thing lately. Life after High School. Sounds dramatic. But honestly, quite stressful. I have been trying to be worry free about the whole subject, but that has not been an easy task to acomplish. School and classmates and the rest of the world puts so much pressure on teens (me) to go out and do crazy things, and you have to go to big colleges and live 5 hours away from home and join crazy party groups. I wonder if that is really all there is out there. People look down on students who decided to go to a commuinity college for a year or two. I can't seem to get out of these pressures and thoughts of everyone around me. I just want to know what is best for me. Personally. What is going to benefit me? Where am I going to benefit others? I want to be challenged, I want to grow, I want to learn and I want to impact the community where ever I go and whatever I decided to do it. But thats the other part of the equation. I really don't want to have to make this decision. I cannot see into my future. I don't know what is best for me. I only know what I want to do, which gets tricky when you want to do more than one thing. I really just want God to pick what I do. I want Him to tell me where to go. I don't want to make the mistake of going somewhere He doesn't have planned for me to go. I am thinking (and maybe I am wrong...) if God already knows what He is going to do with me.....why can't He just tell me? I just feel like I am not really getting a clear answer. Or maybe I have and I am doubting it? There is so much question about it. How do I know? Who do I listen to? I'll just bring the two options to the table. GCSU or Gainsville State for a year? I have so many pros and cons about each one and my heart is in both of these places, and I get excited for each one for different reasons. It kinda hurts when I think about it. It's painful, it's stressful and it just makes me want to burst into 500 pieces.

When I am stressing about all this, I try to focus on these:
John 16 (NIV)
23 In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 24 Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.
and this is The Message version:
23-24 This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I've revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he'll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!

This is what I want to accomplish. But this is also alot easier than it seems to be. I want His plans to revealed to me, and I want to be overjoyed in the decision I make based on these plans. But it is a long, hard road until then. But I just pray I make it, and the stress isn't weighed down on my shoulders. I know He will gladly take it off.


On the lighter and brighter side,
-Guatemala is coming up! In like, 59 days or something. This will be a happier time in my life. I am excited!
-I have some realllllly good music on my iPod, thanks to me sister and all of her friends who "share" music.
-I bought two bags of Dove chocolate last week...
-I have started running again, which is hard, but good! It's just so fun...

Well, thats all I got for now. Maybe i'll try to update more often, we'll see ;)

=) Erin

Summer Freckles and Sunsets.

Freckles Model....Cousin. Adorable. Animated. Beautiful.

Sunset Photos...Taken WHILE driving. Impressive. Scary. Not a great idea.

Speachless.

I have been thinking about how much I have been abandoning my blog for quite a while. Today I had decided I would write tonight.

Although, I realize I haven't much to say really.

*My littlest sister, Hope, while saying goodnight told me I was the best sister anyone could ask for. Then she was wondering why other people say that too if it's not true. She is so darling. So precious.

*School started, and I am a Senior! Which rocks my world. It's not bad at all. And it's fun! I do know that this fun will probably in no time fade into walking around school like a zombie, but for now...it's pretty great. AND! I was appointed Ad Manager for the school newspaper! Which is an excellent position because this is my first year doing the newspaper! I am stoaked.

*Most importantly, I have been thinking all day about how incredible The Point was last night. It's true. I am so excited about what God has planted in each of us and how that will sprout with this new season. God has so much to show us, and I feel it coming. I feel The Spirit so much in that place week after week. I feel like He has already, and is going to open are eyes to new things, and release us from are burdens that strap us down and hide us away from Him and His love.

Life is so good. And I intend to keep it this way for a while. =)

What summer is.

I figure out new things everyday. Sometimes I figure out new things about myself, while other times I figure out things like how blue the sky is at 10AM.

Today I figured out what this whole Summer will be about. A few times I felt that ideas were nudging at me, but I hadn't been quite as sure as I was today while I was swimming around in our pool. This occasion was not only where and when I figured out this summer, but it also marked one of my favorite parts of the summer thus far.
Let me explain.
I ran about 3 miles at about 7 o'clock PM today. It was quite sunny and humitidy filled the air like waves fill the ocean. Although my legs were quite sore after the first two miles, this felt so good. So much is lifted off of me when I run, such a sense of achievement hits me, hits me hard.
It was a bit cooler out once these three miles ended, suprisingly. The wind attempted to pass through my sweatcovered body to cool me off, but the sweat was like a barrier, so it was just not good enough. My body was dripping, my legs were aching and my heart was pumping. I needed something that would hit the spot. And I found the more-than-perfect thing.
The pool looked exeptionally blue, and wet, and cool, and ready for me to jump in. I heard it call my name. And without hesitation(this includes not taking a half second to think about it) I ran some more. I ran to the pool and nothing was stoping me.
And at the perfect time,which rocked my world, my brother yelled "ONE!TWO!THREE".
And I jumped.
And I was still wearing my clothes.
And right then and there, it stole a place in the running for "The Best Moments of Summer" list.
And it continued on being wonderful, cooling me off completely and making me feel as free as the ocean.

Now, back to figuring out the summer.
While I was feeling free as can be, I wondered if I could swim around the edge of the pool one time without coming up for air (I felt about the age of four while I was wondering this, but hey! I'll always have a little child in me). And that was the moment when the whole summer came together. I figured out that this summer is about achieving what I want the most and overcoming what I know will make me happy and free-hearted. I need to do this all with following my Jesus. This can not be done without him. How could I attempt to achieve so many things without Him and His words? So much that I want to achieve this summer. So many little things. So many big things.
A few things that I would like to share that are piercing at my heart in the moment:
1.) Being able to jog all 6.2 miles without a walk or a stop.
2.) Finish 3 books before I go back home.
3.) Romans 12:14-21.
4.) Be with Jesus always.
5.) Letting go of so much that I hold tightly.
and of course 6.) Be able to swim around the pool one whole time without coming up for air. =)

Overcoming and achieving gives me great happiness and self worth in my heart. This is what I want. This is what I want to achieve, always.

So! This is what this summer is all about, I can feel it.

Summer is so wonderful, I must add. Thank you Jesus for it.

ADD IN!
A few of the people that love me left me the most spectacular message for me, and I love them for it.

2 Weeks and 6 days to go!

Picture this:You just get out of school. It's summer! You have to travel across the country for about a month to visit your Dad. Now what? Of course you are going to miss everything so much. You were comfortable. You were with all the people you love the most. It was summer and you could finally stay up late watching Romantic Comedies and eating popsicles on your friend's couch, right after coming in from a swim in your bestfriend's pool. But instead of all this, you find yourself babysitting the day away and swimming alone in the pool in your Dad's backyard.

This is what I have been up to. I do a lot of other things, you know.



Most people who live around here fit in one of these three categories:

1.) Younger then the age of 10.

2.)Parents of the kids in the first category.

3.)Parents of the parents in the second category. Pretty Old.

I don't believe there are many (if any) people from my generation living ANYWHERE around here...

BUT! The other day I hung out with one of my cousins, my mom's sister's daughter. She is my age! It was crazy actually hanging out with someone who knows proper grammar and can drive. I almost forgot what it was like. She is sweet. I had a load of fun...and Panera was in the mix up and you can almost never go wrong with that.

I miss my friends and sisters so much more and more each day. I realized how much I missed my friends earlier today while I was playing outside with my little brothers, Pat and Brenden. I saw a car pass by our house that looked just like my friend Julisa's old one. Friends are so good. Especially mine. I love them all so much. And they are all so good to me in their own way. I know they love me. But I honestly think I may have the best friends ever. We could bet on it if you'd like. I'd win. =)

And as for my sisters, I don't need anything reminding me how much I miss Paige and Hope, it's pretty much a natural thing. I miss them even more with every step I take on this Ohio dirt.

And Mandy, she is having a complete blast at Camp Glission. This is quite sad( Not that I am not happpy for her!). Leaving Georgia wasn't ever too too bad because my sister Mandy was with me. It was good to have her with me. Or me with her. But she isn't here this summer...so sometimes I find myself not having anyone really to talk to.



A few pluses!

1.) I get to spend plenty of quality time with my camera, my Nikon D40. He is getting a lot of my love these days.
2.) I run when I don't have anything too important to do...(which is a lot of times). Which is so good. My mother told me I got my racing number in the mail the other day! and so did Annie, my running partner in crime A.K.A my BF4L. So it's actually going to happen! And so soon, July 4th is our race. 6.2 miles baby!
3.) I get a lot of time with myself. ALOT. Which isn't so bad. ;) School will do just the opposite to you. During the school year I always found myself far away. Never doing the things I wish I could do. And there wasn't a whole lot of time to just be with me and figure me out.
4.)I realize how much I love my people back at home.

As you can infer, there are many pros and cons about being here for 4 weeks and 6 days over my summer break.(when I should only have to be here for about 3 weeks.....I would be home in a week if so! Sheesh)
But, it's where I am, so I gotta be happy. And I will for sure be happy when I arrive home. There will be so much going on when I get home, and I can't wait!
Aside from the fact that my best friend is leaving Georgia approximately 8 hours before I leave Ohio to come back home and won't be seeing her for a few days after I come home, I will be able to see other people I love, and camp will be coming up!!! And I cannot wait another day for that, it's going to be incredible.

See you soon!